Monday, November 22, 2010

My Heart's Comforter

It was sixty-thirty on Thursday morning and I had been up with the baby ALL NIGHT LONG. I was tired and cranky and all I wanted to do was burn a CD of some music I had downloaded. But when I put the blank disc in, I discovered that the CDrom on my computer had stopped working--completely.

And it was at the moment that the baby began to cry-- again. Because she had spit up all over herself--- again. I had never felt so broken and helpless. Or so bitter and angry at life-- this was not how I had imagined it would be, back in those naive teenage dreams I once had.

As I changed the baby, I railed against everything that I believed to be wrong with my life-- nothing was right, everything had gone wrong, and nothing would ever be right again. My heart full of frustration, bitterness, and discontentment, and holding the baby, I sat at my computer, put in my head phones, and in desparation pushed play on the first song listed.

The song that filled my ears was in truth a litany--a recitation of Christ's titles. As I sat there, clutching my daughter to my chest, I sang those titles and clung to Him whom they described as if I had nothing left. As tears poured down my cheeks, I wordlessly poured out all of my frustrations, worries, discontent, fears and everything else that was in my heart. And you know what? My Savior, my Messiah, my Redeemer and Friend heard me, and my Prince of Peace gave my heart the peace I so desperately needed.

Be merciful unto me, O Lord: for I cry unto thee daily. Rejoice the soul of thy servant: for unto thee, O Lord, do I lift up my soul. For thou, Lord, art good, and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy unto all them that call upon thee. Give ear , O LORD, unto my prayer; and attend to the voice of my supplications. In the day of my trouble I will call upon thee: for thou wilt answer me.
Psalm 86: 3-5


Savannah said...

This is such an honest and beautiful post. I loved it.

ღ soraya ღ said...

nice post thanks for sharing looking for to visit more...loves soraya

Kristina Clemens said...

I loved this post. Brought back so many memories of these days when my children were younger. How awesome God is.